After a grueling first day, we're still in the running. Still black smoke. So, this announcement for Day Nine of my reign: I hereby announce the Doctrina Librorum Legentem, or the Doctrine of Book Reading.
Under this new rule, people who like to read will be commanded to do so during the day instead of at night, just before they drop off to sleep. Any employer who will not allow reading time will be violating church doctrine.
Editor's Note: This post was in progress before today's announcement of the election of a new pope was made, but I just figured, well, darn.
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