Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Strike Syria? Let Portugal Do It! Or, Greece, Maybe?

With half the American public in paroxysms over Miley Cyrus and the other half still wondering what happened to Honey Boo Boo, the country is more polarized than ever. Then, there's Syria.

Syria who you say? Well, it's not a who, it's a country. It's that one that's kind of over there, sort of by Lebanon, kind of where your boat would land if you were bareboating in Cyprus (Cyprus is pretty much at the other end of the Mediterranean Sea from the French Riviera). It has cities with cool names such as Damascus and Aleppo. Just think of Aladdin riding a magic carpet with a Genie (not the garage door opener ones--the ones who are magic and Arabs call Djinn; the magic lamp kind).

So why, you say, does the American government want to bomb Syria? Well, rest assured that we're digging into that part, but it seems as though some Rebels vs. The Empire thingy is going on, and The Empire used poison gas on the Rebels and several hundred died.

It's against International Law to use poison gas, of course, so the Obama Administration has to "do" something. This imperative apparently arose from 1994, when just under 1 million Tutsis were slaughtered in Rwanda and America didn't "do" something. America did "do" something when Iraq's Saddam Hussein had the temerity to have no connection with the 9-11 terror attack in the U.S. nor have any A-bombs, so he had to be shown a lesson. 

Syria's Assad regime crossed President Obama's red line with the poison gas attack, unless it turns out that the Rebels launched the poison gas, in which case somebody crossed Obama's red line and must be stopped. American missiles are evidently precision-accurate enough to know who did it.

Anyway. The Plucky Observer is still trying to get to the bottom of this. So far, it sounds like an outtake of an Alice in Wonderland remake, with things getting curiouser and curiouser. Hmm. We shall see.

In the meantime, though, if it's so important to teach the Bad Syrians a lesson, why not let Portugal do it? Or Greece? Their economies are horrid, everyone's out of work and teaching Syria a lesson could be a win-win. Putting your country on a war footing is definitely good for business anyway.

What Your Correspondent can't get his head around, though, are the Occupy Movements. We've been hugely supportive, lately, of Turkey's Occupy Movement, and Turkey is right next door to Greece. In fact, people would be astounded if they knew the similarities between Southeast Turkish cuisine and Syrian cuisine, but that's another story.

Portugal has it's own Occupy Movement. So does Greece, and we Chapullers have to stand together. It's the 99 percent versus the one percent. Why does that matter, here?

If you look at who's not getting the guns--or missiles, or whatever--and who is, you'll soon note that it's not Obama and McCain and Assad and Cameron who are grabbing the AR-15's and gassing up the Humvees for the road to Damascus. Guess who is?

Here's what the One Percent wants: 

We need to be grateful to these actors for so ably portraying dead people

But the 99 percent are thinking more along these lines:

Again, we're working tirelessly to sort all this out. Meanwhile, if you would drop an email to our Fearless Leaders and tell them what you think, it might help. Maybe. 

Well, it could.

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